A Little Late for a New Years Resolution..

I come from a very HUGE family, 14 on my mom side, 10 on my dads, all married with children. This past weekend meghan, one of my cousins, got married on my moms side. There was maybe 12 of us not including the family of the bride. and there was close to 100 or more for the grooms family. We are not use to being out numbered, ever. 

During the wedding Meghans brother, Sheamus,  was crying his eyes out, which my uncle said "if you treated his sister like he did you would be crying too". but the biggest eye opener was when Sheamus came up before the wedding and said "Hey, I'm Meghans brother, Sheamus", and my response was "Hi, I'm your cousin, Maryanne". This shows that, while my family loves each other, we are not close, and this sort of hurt me.

My uncle joe welcomed me with open arms, and I sort of teared up, the other 9 people only reconized me because i was standing with my mom. 

At the ceremony, we all cried, alot. Weddings are like family reunions for us, and my new resolution is to stay close to my family, I know that no news is good news, and if I were to get a call from any of my family I would drop everything to help.  But E-Mails, are amazing things. 

  

Shortchange Meat and Cheese

So now that Remington is alive, well, and still very full of energy I think its time to write a new blog. I am going to tell you a story, one that still has me in stitches while I re-read it. 

You know, sometimes I can be a nice person.. really, just ask some of the people that know me. Sure I can be a bitch, and say some pretty fucked up stuff, but seriously.. I am a nice person. Then there are those other times; the times that make people think "how has this person not been shot down with a  lightning bolt, or burned in the flames of the dark? because I am pretty sure that somewhere out there, there is a hand basket with my name on it, and some of the people reading this will be carrying it while someone else is driving the bus straight down to the depts of H-E-double hockey stick.   

For the sake and humanity of others I will all give you some pretty screwed up nicknames. I have no stories behind these names, or even a reason.. but lets just go with it.  

This is a just a few stories that I hope will make you laugh, or smile. And if neither of those occur... than I am sure you will just hate me a little bit more.

Shortchange Meat and Cheese:

A couple of weeks ago I met up a couple of friends to go out and "celebrate" shortchange, while this may be a regular occurrence for most people in Fort McMurray, it was all new to me. I, the designated driver even when drinking occurs at my own house, was not prepared for the night ahead.

Around 8 o'clock I went to a friends house, lets call her "Logic", and since half the streets near her house didn't have signs or names, and I got lost a couple times on the way there, I was pretty damn happy when I pulled in the driveway. Tonight was not the night for myself to be the DD, no sir, so I cracked open the hard liquor, a.k.a Bacardi breezers, and drank myself a stiff one. Safe to say I am pretty much the cheapest drunk in history, because after the first one I was feeling the warmth and loving it.

Now you might all be thinking "what kind of fruit basket gets drunk off one old breezer?", and I will let you know that once upon a time, in a magnificent town called "George street" I use to be able to drink like I fish, I was illegal and loving it, then I got legal age and old and now I just can't do it anymore.. Fort Mac has ruined me.

I am on my second hard one when the other friend that we were waiting on shows up, lets call her Q, and then Logic gets this bright idea to give us the house tour. The house, as beautiful as it is, was my worst enemy. All those stairs and ups and downs and walking. I just wanted to sit and smile. Logic finishes up the tour, I compliment her, in what I am sure was in incoherent sentence, and then us being cool and working for an oil company decide to call the "special line" to get us a cab a.s.a.p.

With the cab called, and the jackets on, there is only one thing left to tackle... the boots. Now these boots did not have a heal, or laces, or anything to make them complicated, but they did NOT want to go on my feet! I don't' know if I was putting them on wrong, or if my feet grew a couple inches. About 5 minutes later I was standing on two feet (in boots), plastered, and on my way out the door. 

10 minutes later we are in Paddy McSwiggins and we meet the fire guys there. There is nothing really all that interesting that happens for the rest of the pub, besides the fact that when we went to leave we practically had to put Mr. EMT on a lease to keep him from wandering off and to keep focused on the exit sign. Outside its cold, and even the amount that I drank in the pub can't keep me warm, who ever says drunk people can't get cold is a liar mcfibberson, because there was snow on the ground and frost bite on my ears and nose. 

The group of us then decide to walk to Whiskey, which is about 10 minutes away from the nice warm pub that we are now standing outside of with taxis all around us. On the way there I am pretty sure the alcohol and cold has put me into anxiety because I got a killer pain in my chest, and what does Logic, Mr.EMT, and the rest of the crew (who are also trained in emergency) do? nothing. Finally after what seemed about 5 heart attacks and a couple lifetimes later we get to whiskey, its crowded and smelly inside and I start thinking "man... I left paddys for this? they better have good drinks here". 

After about my 3rd or 4th drink the DJ gives notice at last call. Q then disappears like the end of the world is coming. Next thing I know she has 6 drinks with her and in her eyes the night is nowhere near over. at this point I am practically ready to pass out but I am afraid to touch the table with my face or fall on the floor. 

Then... it was like the epiphany, everything around us was quiet and the next thing said was like words from god himself:

Q: We need a pizza... *arms forming a circle in front of her* this big!

From that point everything was dropped and the next thing I know Mr.EMT is trying to find himself in a fight and we are all nomading to the nearest pizza place. So we start walking and realize that it is too freaking cold out to be at that shit and hail a cab.

Us: We are going to Joma's. (which we could see from where the cab picked us up)

Cabbie: You must mean Cosmo's (which is a really shitty pizza place about 10 minutes away)

Mr.EMT: NO WE MEAN JOMA'S!

30 seconds later we are piling out of the cab, I am sure one of us or all of us chucked him some money, even though I don't even think the bastard turned on his meter, and into joma's we go.

Logic is the first to order, and things go way to smoothly for our drunk liking. next up is Mr. EMT, and now if you think I was plastered, this guy was me x 10. 

Mr. EMT: I want a donair

Pizza Guy: What kind?

Mr. EMT: Yes

Pizza Guy: I said what kind.

Mr. EMT: Oh.. Cheese.

Pizza Guy: What kind of sauce?

Mr. EMT: Yes

Pizza Guy: What kind of sauce do you want?

Mr. EMT: Oh... Both.

And then he walks away, don't' pay for it, don't order a drink, not another word. Next is my turn, I try to make it as easy on the Pizza Guy as possible, after the fiasco with Mr. EMT i think he deserves at least one sane person to place an order, and I decide that sane person is going to be me. To make it simple I order the same thing as the guy before me, add two waters to it and pay for it. Then... then the best thing of the night occurs.

See Q is from fuck knows no where in the middle of a rock (that we all love) called Newfoundland. Donairs are a specialty not well known in this neck of the woods, so she didn't really know what she was getting herself into

Pizza Guy: what would you like?

Q: What do you got?

Pizza Guy: Anything you want, what do you want?

Maryanne: She will have the same thing as Mr. EMT and I

Q: NO I WON'T, what do you got?

Pizza Guy: we got donairs

Q: okay I will take one of those

Pizza Guy: What kind?

Q: I don't know? I want meat and cheese

Pizza Guy: so a donair

Q: meat and cheese

Pizza Guy: you want sauce

Q: meat. and. cheese.

So after Pizza guy took a hint, made up an order for her, and we all got our food, went over and sat down. Mr. EMT doesn't even have one bite taken out of his food and he is already trying to start a fight with some random guy across the seating area. Logic takes this as a time to use her good looks, femininity, and smarts to good use and goes over to talk to the guy that Mr. EMT was acting like a douche bag to, because seriously.. this guy was humungo. So Logic saves the day. After this, its all pretty black to me, I am sure I was happy, but I was drunk and I don't really remember anything. next thing I know I am at my house, walking up my stairs and passing out in my bed. The next day alot came into focus, like somehow Logic had lost her cell phone, and realized that she was going around all night with her price tag hanging off her jacket, Q had abandoned her car outside Logics house and I had a revelation that said "Maryanne you have a huge headache and a pain in your chest, don't drink ever again".  

This is Remington now :) He loves to walk

Behaving in the bath

As a young puppy.

My 6 month old dog Remington has just been diagnosed with the Parvo virus. I am doing this as an Informatory blog, so all of you with dogs or puppies can know about it. 

Parvo is the shortened term for the canine parvovirus, a viral disease that affects dogs. The parvovirus most commonly affects puppies as the virus attacks the rapidly developing cells in a young dog’s body, but dogs of all ages can become infected.Parvo generally affects the intestines causing diarrhea that is often bloody, but parvocan also affect the heart causing it to fail. Parvo is the most common lethal virus known to affect dogs, but is preventable with the parvo vaccine.

Parvo is an extremely contagious virus that is transmitted through fecal matter. The virus can live for weeks or months in areas where feces from infected dogs have been deposited. Parvo is highly resistant to surface disinfectants, but many veterinarian offices and kennels use bleach as surface disinfectants because it is the most effective. An unvaccinated dog is highly susceptible to the parvovirus.

An infected dog will display symptoms of diarrhea, vomiting and lethargy. A loss of appetite is another significant symptom along with fever. Complications of parvoinclude dehydration, shock and death. Vaccinated dogs can be carriers of parvowithout being infected and may not display any symptoms of the virus at all.

Because of the parvovirus’s highly contagious nature, it is important to vaccinate dogs against the virus. The parvo vaccine is part of routine veterinary vaccinations recommended for all puppies and dogs. The parvo vaccine is generally administered around six weeks and is re-administered three to four additional times before the dog is a year old and annually after that.

There is no cure for parvo, however veterinarian treatment for the disease, which includes intravenous fluids and medications, can sustain a dog’s body systems during the course of the disease. Unlike many human viruses, the contraction of canine parvovirus does not cause the dog’s body to develop immunity or resistance and the dog can contract parvoagain.

To prevent parvo, veterinarians recommend having every puppy properly vaccinated during the first 20 weeks of life and annually each year after. With the proper vaccination your dog will be protected from the virus, but if you believe your unprotected dog has contracted the virus or know he has been exposed, you should consult a veterinarian. If you have a dog without vaccination records or are unsure of their medical history, you should take them to a veterinarian for examination.

Remington had his vaccination but still contracted the virus, so please make sure to get your dog boostered and checked up on. It is a very fast acting virus, and it is given abou 5 days from time of infection to time of death. Our vet has high hopes or our dog, lucky for us we caught it within 12 hours into the 5 days. He is currently staying at the pet hospital, and We all hope he will be better and home with us wrecking havoc again. 

For Drivers Everywhere

     To everyone out there.. this sign means MERGE LEFT. 

To everyone except those that have no clue what they are doing. It seems to be a general consensus in Fort Mac to stop at the intersection before this sign, and wait for someone to let you into traffic. That is not how the sign works. You are given 400 meters of pavement after the intersection to get to the speed of traffic and then MERGE into it. Not sit there like a duck, with 400 meters of asphalt in front of you wondering what to do. I got stuck behind someone earlier who did this, and I have the patience of a saint, but this is my pet peeve I think. The line up behind me was longer than the one for Tim Hortons (which is usually 10-15 cars long) and the person in front kept looking in her mirror like it was MY fault. I was behind you my love, and you needed to go FORWARD. No wonder there are so many accidents on Highway 63. 

On the Eve of Good Friday...let me say....

... it pains me that a Catholic turned Wiccan needs to be the one reminded people of what the whole purpose of Good Friday actually is.

Listen up Cafeteria Catholics and your innate sense of guilt - Good Friday was meant to be a DAY OF FASTING.

Fasting, abstention from food, and often also from drink, for a longer than usual period. Fasting has been practiced for centuries in connection with religious ceremonies. MSN Encarta

Following is stated in the Code of Canon Law of the Catholic Church.

Can. 1250 The penitential days and times in the universal Church are every Friday of the whole year and the season of Lent.

Can. 1251 Abstinence from meat, or from some other food as determined by the Episcopal Conference, is to be observed on all Fridays, unless a solemnity should fall on a Friday. Abstinence and fasting are to be observed on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.

That in NO WAY means that you should line up at your local fish shoppe and stuff your face with Fish, Chips, Dressing, Onion Rings and Gravy.

Which brings me to my next point. Even if you consider yourself religious and are taking today's Good Friday practises as not being able to consume meat - most people obviously need to do a lil more research into that subject.

GRAVY is meat people - it is juices from the cooked flesh OF AN ANIMAL = meat. If you are believer that fish is not meat - there is no such thing as FISH GRAVY.

ALSO - if you are a believer that fish is not meat - ask yourself why? It used to be because fish are not warm blooded animals, not mammals, not considered to be meat. And, since we don't eat many things "not considered to be meat" - fish is the Cafeteria Catholics answer to the day of fasting, fondly known as Good Friday.

Now I can kinda understand the logic behind this lil bending of the actual rules for practising your faith. However, how a grown, supposedly intelligent, person can look you in the eye (while judging you and your hell-bound lifestyle)and say that they are a devout Catholic (hence a better person than you)while shoveling Seal Flipper Pie in their mouth smothered in gravy - that is something I cannot understand.

Seal = warm blooded = live born babies = mammal = animal = MEAT PEOPLE. Don't try and tell me that because it comes out of the ocean it is not meat. You are just making your chosen religion look bad and insulting the intelligence of others.

Anyway, that is my first rant about organized religion and the types of masses that follow it. Stay tuned for further blasphemous pieces.

Dammit - I was supposed to give up religion for lent :(

***NOTE*** by the way - before you go blasting me about the Catholic religion and my lack of knowledge about it. I was raised in a strict Catholic household in early childhood (my grandmothers house) and when I moved in with my parents I often got up and went to church by myself (or with a neighbour) when my parents chose not to go. I also was a Eucharistic minister as well as a Confirmation counsellor AND went to a Catholic school until amalgamation.

Green is my Favorite Colour

I know there is a lot of praise going around about "being green" and "we are killing the earth" but i just thought i would put this out there, earth was killing people long before fossil fuels came around,  ex: drowning, avalances, frost bite, etc. etc. etc. BUT thats not my point, the point is, we can all do a small amount that can do so much. 

My better half and I are making plans to build a cabin down towards the Alberta/US boarder (pretty scenery) and since i do not want to ruin the scene by bringing in bulldozers and power lines galore, a huge TV etc. instead i decided to build a small but very tall cabin, takes up the smallest amount of ground space, and can still give us a large footage. 

Thats a small part from me, and if you would like to do all you need is a reuseable water bottle, a water filter, and some washable hand towels in place of paper towels. It doesn't take much, even just hanging your clothes out to dry can do a big thing. 

I will give more updates on the cabin soon, i can't wait to get it started :) 

The New and Improved DiVinci Code

People of the Book: One of the earliest Jewish religious volumes to be illuminated with images, the Sarajevo Haggadah survived centuries of purges and wars thanks to people of all faiths who risked their lives to safeguard it. Geraldine Brooks, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author, has turned to intriguing but sparely detailed history of this precious volume into an emotionally rich, thrilling fictionalization that retraces its turbulent journey. In the hands of Hanna, a rare book expect who is restoring the manuscript, it yields clues to its guardians an

d whereabouts: an insect wing, a wine stain, salt crystals, and a white hair. While readers experience crucial moments in the books history through a series of short stories within the story itself. A love story, thrilling mystery, vivid history lesson, and the power of ideas is why this novel was hailed one of the best of 2008.